What Women Need to Understand Right Now
With the renewed media coverage surrounding the Jeffrey Epstein case and public commentary from officials like Pam Bondi, many survivors of abuse are experiencing something deeply familiar:
That sick, tightening feeling in the chest.
The flash of anger.
The wave of “Here we go again.”
Not because the facts are new.
But because of the pattern.
And the pattern has a name.
What is DARVO?
DARVO is an acronym that stands for:
Deny
Attack
Reverse
Victim and
Offender
It was coined by psychologist Dr. Jennifer Freyd to describe a common tactic used by abusers when they are confronted.
Here’s how it works:
- Deny the behavior (“That didn’t happen.”)
- Attack the accuser (“She’s lying. She wants attention.”)
- Reverse the roles so the perpetrator becomes the victim (“I’m being targeted. This is a witch hunt.”)
This strategy is not random.
It is psychological manipulation designed to:
- Confuse observers
- Silence victims
- Preserve power
- Create doubt
And when it plays out publicly — in courtrooms, in press conferences, in media statements — it can retraumatize survivors everywhere.
Why Public Denial Can Feel So Personal
If you have experienced abuse, especially sexual or coercive abuse, watching powerful figures dismiss or minimize testimony can feel like:
- Your story being is erased
- Your younger self being told again “no one will believe you”
- Your body reliving the original dismissal
Even if your abuser is not connected to these events.
Trauma is associative. The nervous system does not distinguish between your courtroom and their courtroom.
Your body remembers.
Signs You May Be Triggered While Following the News
- Tight throat or chest
- Dissociation while reading articles
- Obsessively refreshing updates
- Feeling rage you can’t discharge
- Feeling numb and ashamed for caring
None of this means you are “too sensitive.”
It means your nervous system recognizes a pattern.
How to Care for Yourself While Media Coverage Is Active
If you are consuming coverage about the case and noticing distress, here are trauma-informed ways to protect yourself:
1. Limit Exposure With Intention
You do not need to read every document to stay informed.
Choose specific times to check updates rather than scrolling at night.
2. Ground Your Body
Put both feet on the floor.
Name five things you can see.
Press your palms together firmly.
Remind yourself: I am safe right now. (if you are)
3. Separate “Then” From “Now”
Say out loud:
“That was then. This is now.”
Your adult self is here. You are not powerless anymore.
4. Do Not Engage in Comment Sections
Comment threads are often DARVO playgrounds.
Protect your nervous system.
5. Seek Regulating Connection
Call a safe friend.
Attend a meeting.
Schedule a therapy session.
You do not have to metabolize this alone.
For Every Person Who Was Told They Were Lying
DARVO only works when power structures protect it.
But here is what is also true:
- Survivors are speaking more than ever.
- Trauma science is more understood than ever.
- Women are believing women more than ever.
You are not crazy.
You are not dramatic.
You are not “ruining someone’s life.”
You are telling the truth about what happened to your body.
And when powerful institutions deny testimony, it does not invalidate lived experience.
It reveals the system.
Collective Healing Is Happening — Even When It Doesn’t Look Like It
There is something profound happening in this moment:
Women are recognizing patterns in real time.
We are naming manipulation.
We are identifying gaslighting.
We are refusing silence.
And every time one woman says,
“I see what they’re doing,”
another woman feels less alone.
If You Are Reading This as a Survivor
I want you to hear this clearly:
We believe you.
Not conditionally.
Not politically.
Not selectively.
We believe you.
Your nervous system’s reaction makes sense.
Your anger makes sense.
Your grief makes sense.
And together — in therapy rooms, in circles, in private messages, in whispered conversations — we are healing from horrors that once thrived in silence.
Silence is breaking.
And you are not alone anymore.
If You Are Currently Experiencing Abuse or Need Support
If this coverage is stirring up memories — or if you are actively in an unsafe situation — confidential support is available.
You do not have to do this alone.
🇺🇸 United States National Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline
📞 Call: 1−800−799−SAFE (7233)
💬 Text: START to 88788
🌐 thehotline.org
Available 24/7. Confidential. Free.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
📞 Call: 800−656−HOPE (4673)
🌐 rainn.org
24/7 confidential support for sexual assault survivors.
National Sexual Assault Hotline (via RAINN)
Online chat available at rainn.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
🌐 ncadv.org
Resources, safety planning, and advocacy information.
If You Are in Immediate Danger:
Call 911 or your local emergency number.
A Final Word
If you are a woman reading this, remember:
We believe you.
If your body is reacting:
It makes sense.
If you are angry:
It makes sense.
If you are grieving the system:
It makes sense.
There is nothing wrong with you for feeling what you feel.
And healing is not something you do alone.
Together, we are breaking patterns that once survived on silence.
About the Author
Jackie Caputo is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who provides therapy in Woodland Hills, CA. She also provides online therapy in California to individuals throughout the state.