Have you ever misplaced something? You search everywhere. For some reason, it’s not where it should be. You look, and you look. Then just when you’re about to give up hope, there it is- right where it should have been.
Part of you wonders if someone was playing a prank on you, leaving you to search fruitlessly for the lost item only to discover it’s been there all along.
This happened more than a few times when I was a kid. In fact, my mom used to tell me, “if it were a snake, it would’ve bit you”.
High functioning depression is a bit like that snake. It hides in plain sight. And sometimes, it will bite you.
High functioning depression is also like searching for something when it’s right in front of you. Those who struggle with high functioning depression often feel like something’s missing. On occasion, when the light breaks through, they see that what’s missing has been there all along.
High Functioning Depression Hides in Plain Sight
One thing people often get wrong about high functioning depression is that it doesn’t mean the person is depressed or sad all the time.
Often, people with high functioning depression are living as though nothing is wrong. They are the pillars of community, the healers, the mothers, the group project leaders…
They are just like anyone else… on the outside.
They are suffering behind a smile. They are NOT laying in bed all day.
Most of the time they have families and careers and tasks that need to get done. They are the people who always have a smile on their face.
Living with High Functioning Depression Bites
We are only now beginning to learn more about the mind-body connection.
Research has shown that up to 50% of patients with autoimmune diseases show an impairment of health-related quality of life and exhibit depression-like symptoms.
The problems in their immune system not only lead to inflammation in affected organs but also manifest in behavior abnormalities including fatigue and other depression-like symptoms.
For those with high functioning depression, it’s even more important that we listen to our bodies.
When our body starts to become ill- when we feel drained, tired, sluggish- that is the last and most obvious sign that we need to stop, slow down, and move toward healing.
The problem with high functioning depression is people keep going and don’t stop to take the time to heal. We often receive the message that we need to simply trudge through and that things will get better.
In my experience, it only gets worse. Listen to your body. Rest when you need to rest.
High Functioning Depression Could be a Sign of Repressed Emotions
If you were raised to be nice or encouraged not to cause problems or conflict, over time you may have developed a trait of “going along to get along”.
This can also mean repressed emotions. Feelings of sadness, anger, even grief are pushed down or aside to not upset others.
Unfortunately, what doesn’t get expressed, gets repressed and can then get trapped in our body.
Take all of that and mix some pandemic, a little work from home, teaching kids from home, a dash of lack of sleep, shake well, and voila! the perfect combination for high functioning depression.
How to Heal from High Functioning Depression
Marian Diamond was a pioneering scientist and educator who is considered one of the founders of modern neuroscience.
She and her team were the first to publish evidence that the brain can change with experience and improve with enrichment, what is now called Neuroplasticity.
A few things that can help retrain the brain include:
- Diet
- Exercise
- Love
- Newness
- Challenge
I’ll go into the details of each of the above in future blog posts, so stay tuned.
What I want you to know is that there is hope for those struggling with high functioning depression.
In addition to these above things, the best recommendation for someone who has HFD is to slow down and ask for help. Speak to your doctor or therapist about how to treat this and get the support that you deserve.
About the Author
Jackie Caputo is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who provides therapy in Woodland Hills, CA. She also provides online therapy in California to individuals throughout the state.